Chapter 2

Opening the fridge, I scanned over the leftovers from the wake. My Auntie Christine hadn’t been kidding about casseroles. I had tuna casserole, potato casserole, and even green bean casserole. I had noodle casserole up the ass. The plus side was I didn’t have to worry about finding something to eat. The negative was that all that casserole was going to my hips.

It’d been a week since the funeral. Since my world was turned upside down. It hadn’t gotten any easier. There were nights I cried myself to sleep. Other nights, I stayed up just to look at his things. I wrapped myself in his shirts, inhaling his scent. Old spice aftershave and motor oil. I always joked with him that he wasn’t going to attract any women with that combination.

He’d just laugh as he worked on his 1965 Pontiac GTO. “Why do I need a woman? I have all the women I need with you and old Sherly here.” He would stroke the canary yellow hood of the car like it was a woman’s body. At the time, it made me want to puke, but now I just smiled in remembrance, tears forming in my eyes as I stared into the fridge.

Sighing, I shut the door and turned away from it. I couldn’t stomach another casserole tonight. I had to get out of the house.

Since I didn’t have a car of my own, I usually borrowed Dad’s, but since the Fiat was a hunk of metal in the junkyard, all that was left was the Pontiac. Something he would have never let me drive if he was alive. Guess it didn’t matter now.

Grabbing the keys off the hook, I slipped my tennis shoes on and headed out the back door. I pushed the button for the garage door and watched as it slowly lifted, revealing Dad’s prized convertible. My chest tightened and I almost just said fuck it. I could down another plate of casserole tonight, but my aunt’s words came back to me.

“You need to keep busy. Don’t lock yourself away in this house. You’ll waste away in your grief.”

I’d promised I wouldn’t turn into a hermit, but since I hadn’t gone to class all week, I also hadn’t left the house. The fact that I’d remembered to shower at all was amazing, let alone being able to face any of my friends or teachers. I was probably missing some vital schoolwork, but now, I couldn’t find a shit to give.

 I climbed into the driver’s seat, having to push the seat up to fit my short legs. I adjusted the mirrors and cranked the ignition. It purred like a dream and eased out of the garage without a hitch. Pulling out into the street, I drove carefully, praying I didn’t fuck this up. Couldn’t lose one of the only things I had left of my dad the first day out.

The radio played some classic rock from the eighties, something my dad loved to blast at the risk of busted eardrums, but I couldn’t bring myself to change the channel. My finger tapped on the steering wheel as I made my way to the local burger place. Except when I got there, several of my friends from school were hanging out in the front.

I grimaced. I might be able to get out of the house for some food, but I wasn’t up to facing them just yet. All the questions, condolences, and attempts to cheer me up…I just couldn’t play pretend today.

Dipping my head down in the car, I inched around the restaurant, aiming for the drive-thru. If I was lucky, I could get my food and get out of there before anyone spotted me.

“Can I take your order?” the staticky voice asked through the speaker on the clown shaped order box.

“Can I get two number fives, medium with a sweet tea to drink?” I spouted off without thinking.

“And what to drink with the other one?”

“Other one?” I repeated, and then realized I’d ordered two number fives, not one. It was what my dad and I always ordered. But he wasn’t here. My mind drifted to the headstone sitting in the cemetery all alone in the dark.

“Ma’am?” the staticky voice prompted with an impatient tone.

Licking my lips, I hurriedly replied, “Uh, yeah. Sweet tea too. Thanks.”

I drove around the building, paid at the window, and took my food, setting it in the passenger seat. As I was leaving, I forgot to duck until a voice called my name. Wincing at being caught, I forced a smile onto my face and slowed the car to a stop. “Mandy, hey.”

“Brax! How are you? We’ve missed you at school.” Mandy tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder, looking at our friends sitting at their table, watching us with curious eyes.

“Uh, yeah.” I ducked my head, searching for what to say. “I’m taking some time off.”

“Of course! You should. After your dad…” She trailed off, her voice growing sad. An awkward silence filled the space between us. “So, yeah. Hey, this car is new. It’s nice. I always wanted a convertible. Lucky.”

“It was my dad’s.”

Mandy’s face dropped and she rolled her lips, unable to find something else to say. Her eyes shifted to my food and her eyes brightened. “Well, I see you’re about to have dinner. I’ll just let you go then.”

“Yeah, thanks.” I put the car back into drive, anxious to be gone.

“I’ll see you in class soon?” she asked politely, though her eyes kept darting over her shoulder to our friends. I didn’t blame her for wanting to get away from me. Death was never easy to talk about.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Great.” She waved her hand, backing up. “I’ll see you then.”

Nodding, I pulled out of the parking lot and turned the car toward the cemetery. I didn’t know why I promised to come back on Monday. I wasn’t sure if I’d be up to it, but it was the only way I could get her to leave me alone. Now, I could eat my food with my dad in peace.

The gates to the cemetery were locked, but the fence wasn’t unclimbable. The drinks would be tricky though. Frowning as I parked, I studied the bars. They weren’t big enough for me to squeeze between, but I could put the drinks through the bars and climb over with the rest.

With a plan in place, I climbed out of the car and slowly approached the gate. Placing the drinks on the other side of the bars, I pushed the bag of burgers through as well. It was a tight fit and they’d probably be squished but still edible.

Once that was done, I focused on the gate. I was glad I’d chosen to wear tennis shoes and not my flats. I wasn’t the most athletic person, but I thought I could manage it. Thankful for my yoga pants as I shimmied up the gate, I shoved my feet against the sides of the bars as I struggled over the top. My t-shirt caught on the top spikes, scraping my stomach as I fell over the other side with a rip of fabric.

“Fuck,” I cursed, the ground knocking the breath out of me. When I got my breathing back under control, I checked my stomach. The scratch wasn’t deep, it barely even bled, but my shirt was ruined. Guess I wouldn’t be wearing it anymore.

Someone laughed. I spun around, searching for who had done it, but saw no one. Figuring it was my imagination or I was slowly going insane from my lack of exposure to other people, I sighed. Rubbing my grass stained hands on my pants, I gathered my stuff and headed down the walkway.

The cemetery during the day hadn’t been so bad, but at night, it was creepy as fuck. Shadows from the trees made my neck twitch as if something might jump out at me at any moment. The tall statues of angels seemed malevolent at in the dark. Their praying faces seeming to watch me as I walked past.

Keeping my eyes straight, I searched out the headstone I knew belonged to my dad. When I got to it, I smiled sadly and sat his cup on top of the stone. “Hey, Dad. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come and see you, but look,” I held up the bag and grinned. “I brought your favorite.” Plopping down on the grass, I pulled out the burger and fries, sitting it on the edge of the stone before grabbing mine.

I unwrapped my burger and took a big bite out of it, enjoying the silence even in the creepy atmosphere. Glancing around as I chewed, I noticed how peaceful it was there. “It’s really not as bad as it looks, huh? I guess you could have been put somewhere worse for the afterlife.” I stared down at my burger, my throat thickening with emotion. “If there is an afterlife. I don’t know. I guess I’m a little lost.” I sighed and leaned my arms on my knees, propping them up with my burger hanging between them. “Everyone expects me to get over it and go back to normal. Go back to school. Hang out with my friends. The whole shebang. But I just…” I sniffed and hung my head. “I can’t. How do I go on like everything is normal? Like you’re not—” my words caught in my throat. “Gone.”

“Hey! You there!”

My shoulders bunched up and I jumped to my feet, my eyes darting around. A flashlight shone in my face before I could even think about running. I winced, holding my hand in front of my eyes.

“What are you…oh, it’s you!” Edgar, the grounds keeper, shuffled over to me, lowering the flashlight so he wasn’t blinding me. “Braxton. It’s good to see you. Did you think about my offer?”

I blanked for a moment and then realized he was talking about the job offer. “Uh, honestly, not really. I just wanted to…” My eyes slid over to my dad’s headstone and flushed at how crazy I looked, eating at my dad’s grave.

However, Edgar didn’t seem fazed by it at all. “Of course I understand, but you know, if you worked here, you wouldn’t have to sneak into the cemetery.” He gestured to the rip in my shirt. “It would certainly save you on your wardrobe at least.”

I gave a nervous laugh and pulled at my shirt. “Yeah, I guess that’d be cool.” I paused and shot a look around the cemetery once more. It really was nice out here. I could spend the evenings studying. I’d get to hang out with my dad whenever I wanted. Sure, it might be a little creepy, but that was part of its charm. Edgar waited for me with hope in his eyes and I just couldn’t say no. “You got yourself a deal.” I held my hand out like some kind of idiot, but thankfully Edgar only chuckled and shook it.

“Well then, since you’re already out here, why don’t we take a tour? Get you settled on what you’ll be doing.” Edgar adjusted his plaid sweater vest and then gestured with his flashlight to the path.

Following along beside him, I left my food where it was with dad. Nothing but the animals out here would bother it, at least I hoped. “So, what exactly do I have to do?”

“Mostly just walk the grounds, pick up any trash you might see,” Edgar explained, one arm behind his back and the other holding the flashlight lighting our way. “We don’t get many trespassers.” He gave me a sideways look with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

I flushed and ducked my head. “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I just couldn’t wait.”

“Understandable.”

We came to a little shack I hadn’t noticed before at the funeral. Using a key he pulled out of his pocket, Edgar opened the door and gestured me inside. Really wishing I had my phone because, while I didn’t think that Edgar was going to murder me, I still didn’t know him and the cemetery thing was putting me on edge.

Scrounging up my courage, I stepped inside and instantly felt better. The small room had a desk to one side with some paperwork spread out in front of a wooden chair. In the middle of the room sat a love seat in front of a small, outdated television. At least I wouldn’t be bored out of my mind.

“There’s a bathroom over there.” Edgar walked into the room, gesturing to a door on the right. “In between your rounds, you can watch television or read. If you have schoolwork, feel free to do it. While the job isn’t a hard one. It can be lonely at times.”

I nodded, the prospect of working alone not at all a deterrent for me. I walked around the little room taking everything in. Once I made it back to where I’d started, I turned to Edgar. “You mentioned before that the pay was good?”

Edgar smirked, inclining his head. “Ah, yes. Since we work for the city and the position isn’t the most desirable, the city will pay you twenty-two an hour plus full benefits. Health and dental.”

My mouth gaped. “Whoa, are you sure? That seems a bit excessive.” There had to be a catch, there was always a catch.

Chuckling at my shock, Edgar went over to the desk and shuffled some things around. “Here, this would be your schedule and a list of things you would need to do each night.”

I took the paper from him, my eyes skimming over it. None of it looked hard. his job continued to seem way too good to be true.

“Do you have any questions?”

I shook my head but then stopped myself, thinking of something. “Yeah, actually, I do.” Edgar gestured for me to go ahead. “Why me?”

Edgar took a step toward me with a small smile on his lips. “Because you have something about you, something that needs to be fulfilled, and I think this place can help you. Plus,” he chuckled, “you were there.”

I smiled back at him. The convenience excuse was more believable than the first part. The only thing I was lacking was a giant hole where my dad used to be. Taking a large breath, I pumped my hands at my sides. “When can I start?”