So now I’m an army wife…

On January 28th, 2019 at approximately 1600 (that’s 4pm for most of us), my husband signed away the next 8 years of his life. To what you may ask?

The Army.

Now some of you may like or not like the army and that’s okay. I’ve never been one to lean one way or the other to be honest.

Okay. That’s a lie.

I briefly was all Army Of One, Hooah! when I was about 19 and had something to prove. And that proved to be I didn’t like being told what to do every day all day and getting in trouble for other people’s mistakes. Hence why now I’m my own boss. Damn she’s a merciless bitch! 😂

I digress.

My hubby, James, left for basic training about two weeks ago, leaving me at home with our 4 year old daughter, Billie, to ask, “Where’s daddy?” about 5x a day. 😭 She’s gotten better but she still asks at least once a day. Oh, little one you just don’t understand yet.

While James was off getting fitted for his uniform, getting his boots, and tags, I was at home suffering from the worse case of writer’s block I’ve ever had. Maybe it’s depression or just the anxiety of actually living alone (kid aside), but the words just wouldn’t come.

The days weren’t bad. I’d binge watch Netflix or play the new Kingdom Hearts 3 game until time to pick the kiddo up from school. Then it was several hours of dinner making, bathing, and story telling before she went to bed and I…stayed up for hours unable to relax enough to sleep. Several days ended like this: up until 3/4 am before finally passing out only for my alarm to go off a few hours later for school time, then I’d come home after dropping the munchkin off and pass out until almost time to get her again. It was a vicious depressing noncreative cycle that has put me behind on so many projects.

I’ve gotten a couple of letters from him saying he misses us and it’s not like he thought it would be. He was in reception (where they get their uniform and learn what they can/can not do) until Valentine’s day then he officially went to BCT (Basic Combat Training). I got a 15 minute call from him the night before which was nice but not as nice as it would have been to see his face.

I don’t have an address yet to write him back yet but have a pile of them to send him from Valentine’s to just random notes I wrote. I’m expecting another letter or at least a call from him any day now for the address and that’ll be a bit helpful for both of us.

The countdown until I see him has been slow going. Since he’s in what they call OSUT (One Station Unit Training) instead of the normal kind I don’t really get to see him between BCT, where he learns to be a solider, and AIT (Advanced Individual Training), where he learn to do his job. He has 17 weeks of training all together.

Supposedly they have a graduation between BCT part and AIT part where I can see him for a weekend but then he goes right to AIT for the other half of his training. I’m hoping it will be easier the second half but I’m not holding my breath.

Honestly, the waiting is the hardest. I’m a control freak by nature. It drives me nuts not being about to plan for what’s to come or have any control of the outcome. His MOS (military Occupational Specialty) is 19D, Calvery Scout. He can get stationed anywhere and we may or may not get to go with him. I’m nervous, anxious, and only a tiny bit excited about that aspect.

I’m trying to be up beat about the whole thing. Besides, the total lack of writing I’ve gotten done I’m keeping busy. I figured writing a blog post is one step back into writing a chapter. Then actually finishing the book. I have four more months of waiting until there’s more waiting. Hurry up and wait. That’s the saying that’s always been paired with being in the military. Guess, I’ll do that then.

Hearts out to those who are military spouses kids, or even soldiers. You guys are hardcore! Send me your stories and love while I wade through this new chapter of my life and I’ll pull myself out of my funk and get back to writing.

<3 Erin

P.S. this is what he looks like now in basic. No beard 😭😭